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The Facts Of Life

by SNOOP DOGG and 2PAC with translations by Animal Chan

In this new millenium we can't expect the passage to manhood to be any less complicated than decades past. I've heard that Hip Hop is the "voice of the next generation". With this in mind I've decided to delve deep into the inner core of Hip Hop to find out what advice these rappers are giving young men through their undeniably powerful lyrics. These words of wisdom however, are coded in today's intricate urban lexicon that can only be deciphered by someone who is fluent in the language of Hip Hop. I've taken the time to hand pick some memorable passages by two of today's great Hip Hop legends: Snoop Doggy Dogg and the late, great, 2Pac Shakur. With the help of my translations I hope you'll see that even though the times may have changed, it's good to see that the message hasn't.

Gin And Juice (Doggystyle)

when I bust a nut I'm raising up out the cut. Don't get upset girl, that's just how it goes. I don't love you hoes! I'm out the doe' (door) -Snoop Dogg

The moment after I've ejaculated, I must gather my belongings and be on my way. Please don't be overly sensitive about the subject, for that is the way I have always been. I am void of any deep seeded emotions you may think I hold for you. I have just passed through the doorway.

How Do You Want It?

Tell me is it cool to fuck? you think I come to talk, am I a fool or what? Positions on tha floor it's like erotic. Ironic. 'Cause I'm somewhat psychotic I'm hittin' switches on bitches like I been fixed with hydraulics. -2Pac

Excuse me Miss, do you think it would be prudent at this juncture to engage in intercourse? I hope you didn't believe that I would approach you to exchange dialogue. Do you consider me extremely gullible? When we have sex on the floor I find it arouses me, which is such a coincidence because I am suffering from psychosis. I thrust women's bodies in different positions as if I were outfitted with a set of hydraulic mechanisms similar to those used on Low Rider cars.

I Wonder If Heaven's Got A Ghetto

If you're not from the town, then don't pass through. 'Cause some OG fools might blast you. -2Pac

If you are not indigenous from this area then I would suggest you choose an alternate route in order to avoid certain individuals that have inhabited this area for a very long time. Those certain individuals may feel inclined to discharge their weapons on you.

G-thang (on Chronic album)

and before me diggin' a bitch I gotta find a contraceptive. You never know, she could be earnin' her man, learnin' her man. And at the same time burnin' her man. And you know I ain't with that shit leutenant. And ain't no pussy good enough to get burnt while I'm up in it. -Snoop Dogg

Let me inform you that whenever engaging in sex I always use a condom. You can never be too safe. There is the possibility that this woman could be a financial leech, a controlling individual, and harbouring various S.T.D.'s as well. And I shouldn't have to remind you that I hate the idea of contracting some sort of sexually transmitted disease. No woman is worth that risk to me.

All About You (All Eyes On Me)

You probably crooked as the last trick. Women laugh at how I got my ass caught up with this bad bitch. Thinking I had her, but she had me in the long run. It's just my luck I'm stuck here fuckin' with the wrong one. -2Pac

I have this premonition that you may be as displeasing as my former female partner was. Females find it amusing that I've become involved with a woman of such low public opinion. I was under the impression that I was the more cunning one in the relationship, but much to my chagrin I found out that it was her. It's no surprise to me that this would be the outcome.

Fuck You (2001)

On the sneak tip, on some creep shit. So whatcha gon' do, ya freak bitch? You, actin, like you, don't do dicks. That's the kinda bitch I hate fuckin' wit. -Snoop Dogg

We are being incognito about our secret encounter. So what would you like to do now, you promiscuous woman? You hint towards the idea that you do not perform fellatio on men. You are the type of woman that I avoid relations with.

What's My Name? (Doggystyle)

it's like that and as a matter of fact. Rat-tat-tat-tat. I never hesitate to put a nigger on his back. Yeah, so peep out the manuscript, you'll see that it's a must I drop gangsta shit. -Snoop Dogg

Ironically this is the way things are. The sound of my semi-automatic handgun should let you know that I have no qualms about using it on those I feel deserve it. I suggest you examine my well documented records. You will realize that I feel it necessary to act out my aggressive tendencies.

To Live and Die in L.A.

It's the city of angels and constant danger South Central LA can't get no stranger. Full of drama like a soap opera, on the curb watching the ghetto bird hellicopters. -2Pac

Los Angeles can be a utopian metropolitan, but at the same time the crime rate is comparitively high. In particular, the Southern Central region is experiencing a flux of undesirable behavior. The constant barrage of chaos is worthy of a television inspired day-time drama. Sitting down on the cement embankment puts me in plain view of an aircraft that derives its lift from blades that rotate about an approximately vertical central axis.

Gin And Juice

I had to back up of of it, sit my cup down. Tanqueray and Chronic, yeah I'm fucked up now. -Snoop Dogg

Drinking Tanqueray gin while smoking high grade marijuana is a lethal mixture of depresants. You may find yourself having to stop drinking the gin while proclaiming how thoroughly anebrieted you are.

2 Of Amerikkka's Most Wanted

Sure enough I keep my hand on my gun, cause they got me on the run. Now I'm back in the court room waitin' on the outcome. -Snoop Dogg

Surely you know, I must have my pistol within my grips. The authorities have an all points bulletin issued for my arrest, so I must evade them by constantly moving from one location to another. All of a sudden I find myself in a United States courtroom. I must now patiently wait to find out what my legal situation will be.

2 Of Amerikkka's Most Wanted

They wonder how I live with 5 shots. Niggas is hard to kill on my block. -2Pac

There is alot of speculation as to how I survived being shot at 5 times. Me and my fellow brethren that reside within a quarter mile radius are difficult to assassinate.

California Love

Only in Cali where we riot not rallies to live and die In L.A. we wearin Chucks not Ballies (yeah that's right) -2Pac

In the state of California we turbulently disturb the peace instead of gathering together for a common purpose. Ah yes, Los Angeles is where I would like to spend the rest of my days. In this city we wear the Chuck Taylor model Converse All Star basketball shoe as opposed to Itallian hand crafted leather Bally's. (I second that notion)